I have never been a small, skinny girl. Ever since puberty began I gained weight and my body shaped formed into curves, big booty and big boobs and over time I learnt that there isn’t anything wrong with that. I spent all of my adolescent years and even now at 21 struggling with body confidence, being ashamed of the body I have and feeling that I couldn’t be proud of the body I was given because it isn’t what society deems beautiful. But I am beautiful. I may not be skinny but my curves are a part of me and I feel so damn sexy in them. It’s baffling how many girls feel that they aren’t sexy because they aren’t a specific size.
In the UK the average woman is a size 14-16. In my wardrobe my clothes vary from size 10, 12, 14 and I even own a size 16 dress. So what am I? above average? Below average? or average? Does my size of clothes determine whether I am healthy? Does my body shape make any difference to anybody other than myself?
In the summer of 2015 I lost almost 2 stone in weight and I didn’t feel any healthier than before. I went from weighing 13’6 stone to 11’10 and although I knew I looked good. I didn’t feel good. I was afraid to eat in case I gained weight, I was so happy every time the numbers stopped on the scale. I wasn’t enjoying my food. Losing weight took over my life and nothing would stop me. Nothing made me happy like losing weight. Then I met Matt. Matt and I met in September 2015 just after I lost the weight. Right from the start he made me so happy, loved me for my curves and my edges. His love helped me to start eating properly again and enjoy my food. It wasn’t easy but I became happy again, remembered what I loved about my body. My body loves me.
The biggest problem for me is feeling comfortable in clothes and I know how challenging it is to find outfits that make you look and feel beautiful. Here are a few outfits that I like and flatter y curves. Don’t fear them, love them.
This bodycon dress makes me feel so comfortable and I think it’s really flattering on me. I like that it doesn’t make me look massive (or so I think). I even like that it does place emphasis on curves. That evening I felt so good and comfortable!
I freaking love skirts. I love showing off my legs and although I don’t always feel comfortable doing so. I know that I should mainly for my self esteem. This photo was taken on a holiday in Spain last year and I pretty much lived in skirts and vest tops and I loved every minute of it.
This photo was taken after I had lost weight and now I look at it, I don’t look much smaller thank am now. I still love this dress and how basic it is.
In fact, I think in all of these photos I look different. My body changes all the time and I’m thankful to now understand and truly believe that weight does not determine your worth, whether you’re more valued and most definitely not whether you’re loved.
Be kind to yourself, love your body and remember that you’re not just your weight.
With love, Beth x