Battling Your Insecurities in a New Relationship

Insecurities are something everyone has, they’re so natural to experience and often leave people with a lot of anxiety and stressful thoughts. I know this as I experience them so often, however, I recently experience them more now I’ve started dating someone new.

For some this is the exciting part, they love to meet someone new and really find out who they are. For me, I’d rather just skip to the point where I’m completely settled, comfortable and know them and until that happens, my insecurities will be on fire. From the moment I knew I had feelings for him I had instant insecurities. Does he like me back? Why would he like me? I know he can do better. Apparently these were my favourite thoughts right up until our first date. Before that though, I had already turned down the offer of a date because I was so nervous. After constant thought about this, I definitely regretted it and was over the moon that he asked again (he must have the patience of a god).

With that in mind, I realised quickly that if I let my insecurities more important than how I really felt for him then the relationship wouldn’t happen. I recognised that I needed to do something and fight my insecurities, so these are my thoughts on fighting your insecurities at the beginning of a new relationship.

Say yes to the dateOnce I realised I had said yes to going out on a date I worried for days about whether I could hold a conversation, what if we went on the date and we had absolutely nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Then we would have to sit through our food totally ignoring the fact that it was the worst first date ever (this wasn’t my only concern obviously). Luckily this didn’t happen and we had such a lovely first date and I’ve not regretted it since.

Stop concentrating on previous relationships It’s so easy to compare your previous partners to your new one. It’s not nice to do so but it’s your mind’s way of making sure you don’t experience anything that you have previously. For me I was so afraid of having to change and be someone different. I was afraid of being with him and he wouldn’t accept my anxiety and mental health problems and I was scared it would just chase him away. So I just told him straight out that I do struggle with panic attacks and mental health and instead of thinking the worst of me, he was totally supportive. My point is, you have to just see what they’re like before knocking them.

Appearance isn’t everything Try not to spend all your time concentrating on your makeup, hair and outfit. Just do what feels natural and comfortable to you. I guarantee they aren’t that bothered whether you’re wearing a dress or jeans, heels or flats. I know I still do it but I like to make so much effort when I’m going to see him so he doesn’t think I’m a total troll. when I realised that I was still doing this I started toning it down a bit by wearing less or no makeup at all. Hanging out in my comfiest leggings and oversized t-shirts whilst having lazy sofa days. By doing this I learned that he actually doesn’t mind what I look like and it’s helped me to feel so much more relaxed.

Take it slow We all have this feeling of rushing, wanting to be the best, wanting to just get to a point. Embrace the new relationship, the first kiss, first trip, the first anything. Enjoy spending time together and learning more about each other. It’s okay to just enjoy each other’s company. With this relationship I’ve promised that I’m going to take it as slow as possible, I see no reason to rush what we have and I’m enjoying just seeing where things go. We all worry about the future but it’s okay to just enjoy being with each other in the present time.

Enjoy the firsts The thought of the firsts really gives me anxiety and it still does. The first of anything you do together it so scary regardless of what it is. So many of us try to prevent doing the firsts through fear but I’ve learned that it’s okay to be excited about them. The first kiss is supposed to be magical and I was so apprehensive about it but it was even worse for me. I had to experience it twice! Our first kiss, I was drunk, like totally out of my face drunk. I can barely even remember it but I do remember how happy it had made me. I guess I’m lucky enough to have gotten to experience it for a second time whilst sober. Right at that moment I realised that I just wanted to enjoy all of our first moments together and now I look forward to them.

Talk to them If you really do have a specific insecurity that is just eating you up inside, just talk to them. You have to start communicating and opening up at some point so why not start with something that really bothers you. Talking helps any couple from and develop the comfortable feelings and gain trust. You have to start at some point and I think talking about your insecurities is something that you’ll bond over because it’s probably likely that they too are feeling the same!

Distance is ok Over these past few months I’ve learned that I quite enjoy being around such a variety of people as well as still have alone time. You don’t have to speak all the time, you don’t have to see each other every day, you don’t have to just be with them on nights out. Distance means you won’t become too reliant on that person and you can still live your life the way you want. Except for a few nights a week or whenever you want, you get to really enjoy the time with them and look forward to it. I know that it’s easy to get comfortable in relationships and forget that you have other friends and other hobbies that you enjoy. Fortunately for us, we have he same friends and we do go on nights out together. But I love nothing more than dancing like idiots with my friends as well as him, I couldn’t imagine being one of those girlfriends who only wants to be with their boyfriend. I like him but I need my own time. It’s so easy to let your insecurities overwhelm you, it’s also easy to totally ignore them and eventually they build up.

These tips might not work for everyone but I know they they work for me. If I’m feeling happy in myself then I know I’ll feel happier with him. Twitter: @bethdaviesblog Instagram: @_bbbbethan With love, Beth x

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Before I Die…

I read a book a few months ago called All The Bright Things. In this book the characters were listing the things they wanted to do, achieve or create before they die and it inspired me to write about the things I want to do before I do (a long time away I hope so plenty of time to get through my list!). So, let’s jump straight in shall we. 

Before I die I want to…

  • Swim with dolphins. 
  • Go to Hawaii. 
  • Own a home (or two if I’m lucky enough). 
  • Be my own boss. 
  • Have children and raise them in a two parent home. 
  • Go to Italy and make my own pizza (I know I can do this anywhere but.. Italy right?). 
  • Be given the type of love only a parent can get. 
  • Marry my best friend.
  • Build a tree house. 
  • Visit the Great Barrier Reef. 
  • Visit more of the UK. 
  • Go and visit Jess in Canada. 
  • Work abroad for a year. 
  • Own a high end bag. 
  • Take a trip with just my brothers (probably too wishful). 
  • Witness a miracle.
  • Never have to worry about money. 
  • Go on a safari. 

Across the years I’ll probably accomplish some of these things and continue to add more. This is just the start of my very long journey. How about you guys write your own list of things to do, achieve or create before you die!

Twitter: _bbbethan

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Use my discount code ‘bethdavies20‘ for 20% off http://www.coconut-lane.com 

With love, Beth x 

Growing Up With Brothers

I could never imagine myself being an only child. Admittedly, having been raised as an only girl with two older brothers I definitely wished as a child that I was an only child. Now as an adult I’ve realised that being raised with two older brothers impacted my life incredibly and without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. Regardless of anything we go through, my siblings are 100% the people who have given me the most motivation to be a better me and they influence everything I do. I have two older brothers, Kyle and Daniel. Growing up is difficult for anybody, however I found growing up with two brothers to be so bloody difficult. So today, I thought I would share with you guys how having two older brothers shaped me into the person I am today. 

As I said before, I have two brothers who I love dearly but I am definitely closer to Daniel than Kyle. That doesn’t mean I love them any different or have a favourite (that’s a lie, it’s Daniel) but they both equally motivate me and have been the most influential people to shape who I am and want to be as an adult. Let’s start with Kyle, my oldest brother. Kyle and I have an 8 year age difference and I do this that this age gap has been the biggest issue  within our relationship. Daniel and I are only 2 years apart and are closer now as adults than we ever have been before. 

Generally all of us are quite introverted and like to have our own space so we rarely spend time together and we definitely never ever spend time together just the three of us. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and I don’t wish it on anybody. Considering we are family it still shocks me that we don’t really have any thing in common with each other. I mean, Daniel and Kyle do but I definitely don’t with Kyle and minimal with Daniel. As a child this was really hard for me because it meant that I spend almost all my time alone and with nobody to hand out with and enjoy the same interests. During my childhood I was definitely more extroverted and thrived for the comfort and conversation from others so I spent a lot of time feeling lonely. As awful as this was for me as a child it helped me so much as an adult as I can now work better independently as well as in groups and has played a huge role in working with groups and interacting better. It has always allowed me to appreciate the alone time I do get and never take for granted being able to do things that I enjoy without being interrupted. I very rarely feel lonely as an adult and I’m pretty sure it’s because I got so used to it as a child it became the norm for me which I actually love now. 

The biggest issue I had in my life was that I lacked femininity. I have my mum but she doesn’t wear makeup and doesn’t enjoy anything to do with fashion, books or anything I’m interested in. Which may seem like a surprise to most since I was the only girl and my mum would have a lot of time for me. However, it’s not the case at all. I taught myself how to use makeup using YouTube and used the internet, magazines and TV for fashion inspriration. I learned what I know from the media. I think having a closer bond with my mum would have made a huge impact on my friendships with other girls as I’d be able to understand most about what they enjoyed from an earlier age. 

My parents always expected me to act the same way as my brothers and so often I was asked “why aren’t you more like your brothers?”. This infuriated me and made me so angry every single time I heard it. My parents never accepted that not only was I younger than my brothers but also a differen gender with different interests and ideas. Having heard this for so long during my teenage years I rebelled a lot and decided to go things I knew my brothers wouldn’t do because it would disappoint my parents and I didn’t care. To me, the more I wasn’t like my brothers the better and I enjoyed it that way as much as I do as an adult. 

Regardless of these issues I loved my childhood and thoroughly enjoyed having wrestling fights and tickling matches and oversized tshirts to wear. My parents worked hard to give us the best that they could and I’ll be eternally grateful for the life they gave me an my brothers. 
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twitter: _bbbethan

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With love, Beth x 

10 Reasons Why I’m Grateful For My Best Friend

Over the 20 years I’ve been living I’ve definitely had my fair share of friends and the term ‘best friend’ is thrown around so often I’m always concerned to whether it’s actually true. Since being at university I’ve definitely made separate friends to the ones I have at home. Not that my friends at home are any less my best friends but I’ve made friends-for-life in the people I’ve become friends with at uni. I’ve got the best group of friends who I definitely consider my best friends but one in particular really does make a difference to my life. Megan and I met as she was a flatmate of my friend Macaulay, as was Matt. Over the year I’ve known Megan we really have formed a lifelong friendship and I’m super grateful for all the times she listens to my rants and cuddles me when I cry. She’s an absolute star so I thought I would share with you guys 10 reasons why I’m grateful for Megan. 

1: The constant support

Megan makes it so easy to be friends with her because of her constant support. Through every achievement Megan is either at the end of the phone ready to scream with excitement or she’s with me jumping around with happiness. Whether it’s a good time or bad time, Megan is available with support and love knowing full well it’s what I need. 

2: Her honesty

As a person I am always honest with everybody and to find a friend who also does the same with me is something I am so grateful for. I know if I go to Megan with a problem and ask her if I’m in the wrong, she’ll tell me if I am and she’ll also tell me if I’m not. She’s so honest with me down to whether I look chunky in a dress. She’s so honest and truthful, her candid is something I admire her most for. 

3: Singing in the car

Karaoke in the car is my most favourite thing about being Meg’s friend. Without fail we get into the car and we know exactly what songs we’re going to sing to with no embarrassment of who hears us.  I love having a friend who I can be myself with and singing badly to  pop songs is definitely something I enjoy doing. 

4: She reads every single blog post 

As I said before, Meg is so supportive. She literally reads all of my blog posts and has done since the beginning. In fact Megan was the first person I spoke to about starting a blog and therefore Beth’s Corner wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for her. I love that I know at least 1 person is reading my posts and cares for them as much as Meg does. 

5: She always has my back

I know that Meg will happily defend me in any situation. I don’t like confrontation and it’s rare that I’ll ever defend myself and that’s why I love Meg. Meg is one of the many friends I have who jump to my defense and I am always so thankful for that. Even if I’m in the wrong she’ll still manage to find a reason to why I’m right. 

6: The memories 

Who doesn’t need a friend who will sit on the sofa with you and eat pizza on a Saturday evening? I’m so grateful for every single memory Meg and I have had together. Especially sitting in the kitchen at 9am with Jeremy Kyle on the TV. She’s utterly fantastic and makes every memory worth having. 

7: Her ability to instantly dislike somebody that I dislike 

I love nothing more than sending Meg a screenshot or picture of someone who has done something to annoy me. The screenshots we have from messages we have received is endless, my photos are full of them. Everybody deserves a best friend who will dislike whoever you dislike. 

8: For the advice 

I go to Megan with anything, literally anything. It could be anywhere between serious life advice or what  outfit to wear. Everybody needs are least 1 friend who you can rely on for honest advice and although I have more than just Megan for that. I’m extremely grateful that my best friend is able to do it. 

9: Her friendship with my boyfriend

Megan and Matt are such good friends. Both of my favourite people actually enjoy each others company and we have so many inside jokes ( threesbetween the three of us. In fact we also have our own Facebook messenger group. I always understand that Megan can often have issues defending either of us if we ever have an argument but that’s why I love her. She’ll always think of the situation beyond what it is and see both sides before making any decisions on who is right or wrong. I couldn’t imagine my best friend not liking my boyfriend and i’m so thankful that they actually do.

10: For the compliments

Megan and I have no boundaries, so whether I send her gross photos of me or pretty ones. She literally never fails to give a compliment. If I post a photo on Facebook, normally she’s the first to comment with a compliment. Who doesn’t need that in their life? How could I not be thankful for that?! 

I am so grateful for the friendship I have with Megan and I just know that in years to come when we have our own children they’ll be just as good of friends as we are. 


Social media: 

Twitter: _bbbethan

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With love, B x