I could never imagine myself being an only child. Admittedly, having been raised as an only girl with two older brothers I definitely wished as a child that I was an only child. Now as an adult I’ve realised that being raised with two older brothers impacted my life incredibly and without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. Regardless of anything we go through, my siblings are 100% the people who have given me the most motivation to be a better me and they influence everything I do. I have two older brothers, Kyle and Daniel. Growing up is difficult for anybody, however I found growing up with two brothers to be so bloody difficult. So today, I thought I would share with you guys how having two older brothers shaped me into the person I am today.
As I said before, I have two brothers who I love dearly but I am definitely closer to Daniel than Kyle. That doesn’t mean I love them any different or have a favourite (that’s a lie, it’s Daniel) but they both equally motivate me and have been the most influential people to shape who I am and want to be as an adult. Let’s start with Kyle, my oldest brother. Kyle and I have an 8 year age difference and I do this that this age gap has been the biggest issue within our relationship. Daniel and I are only 2 years apart and are closer now as adults than we ever have been before.
Generally all of us are quite introverted and like to have our own space so we rarely spend time together and we definitely never ever spend time together just the three of us. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and I don’t wish it on anybody. Considering we are family it still shocks me that we don’t really have any thing in common with each other. I mean, Daniel and Kyle do but I definitely don’t with Kyle and minimal with Daniel. As a child this was really hard for me because it meant that I spend almost all my time alone and with nobody to hand out with and enjoy the same interests. During my childhood I was definitely more extroverted and thrived for the comfort and conversation from others so I spent a lot of time feeling lonely. As awful as this was for me as a child it helped me so much as an adult as I can now work better independently as well as in groups and has played a huge role in working with groups and interacting better. It has always allowed me to appreciate the alone time I do get and never take for granted being able to do things that I enjoy without being interrupted. I very rarely feel lonely as an adult and I’m pretty sure it’s because I got so used to it as a child it became the norm for me which I actually love now.
The biggest issue I had in my life was that I lacked femininity. I have my mum but she doesn’t wear makeup and doesn’t enjoy anything to do with fashion, books or anything I’m interested in. Which may seem like a surprise to most since I was the only girl and my mum would have a lot of time for me. However, it’s not the case at all. I taught myself how to use makeup using YouTube and used the internet, magazines and TV for fashion inspriration. I learned what I know from the media. I think having a closer bond with my mum would have made a huge impact on my friendships with other girls as I’d be able to understand most about what they enjoyed from an earlier age.
My parents always expected me to act the same way as my brothers and so often I was asked “why aren’t you more like your brothers?”. This infuriated me and made me so angry every single time I heard it. My parents never accepted that not only was I younger than my brothers but also a differen gender with different interests and ideas. Having heard this for so long during my teenage years I rebelled a lot and decided to go things I knew my brothers wouldn’t do because it would disappoint my parents and I didn’t care. To me, the more I wasn’t like my brothers the better and I enjoyed it that way as much as I do as an adult.
Regardless of these issues I loved my childhood and thoroughly enjoyed having wrestling fights and tickling matches and oversized tshirts to wear. My parents worked hard to give us the best that they could and I’ll be eternally grateful for the life they gave me an my brothers.
With love, Beth x