You might be a little confused by this title. It only seems like 5 minutes ago that I was saying my goodbyes and heading away for a 3 month trip. However, a month passed and I’ve been back in the UK for a month now, wondering where my next adventure will be.
You’re probably, was she fired? No I wasn’t. I quit working at the summer camp and booked a flight home for the next day. Camp life isn’t easy and I wasn’t prepared enough for it.
Before I left I thought all I ever wanted was to travel the world and it turns out, it isn’t for me. I missed the familiarity of home, the little things in life that made me comfortable and mostly, I missed who I was before I went to camp.
Camp was ruining me emotionally, I was caring for the same children all day, everyday. Slowly I began to feel very suffocated and isolated in the camp bubble. Camp bubble? What is that, you may think. It’s like living, working, breathing and existing in the smallest village ever and never being allowed to leave (except for a 24 hour period each week on my day off).
From the minute I arrived at camp I knew there was something I didn’t like, I couldn’t describe it but I knew that it wasn’t for me but I gave it a shot, a really good go actually.
I had everything thrown at me during my time in the states and I powered through until I had enough. I reached a point where I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed in the morning. I was emotionally and psychically tired every single day and my anxiety was reaching an all time low. I was crashing and knew I had to come home.
I don’t regret coming back to the UK, not a single bit. I do miss the little family I made at camp with all my friends but I don’t miss anything else. I don’t miss the children, the job or the camp itself at all. When I was at camp I missed everything and everyone and it consumed me.
I feel like a failure. I’m not one to give up on anything ever, I took a lot for me to decide to leave but I knew it was best for me. So now I am home and looking forward to my many adventures. Although for now I don’t want to leave Wales but my experience hasn’t frightened me from wanting to do more travelling. Perhaps my trips will be short time period but I’ll still do them.
With love, Beth x