How You Doin’?

It’s been a while now since I posted about my anxiety and I thought it was time to update you on how I’ve been. 

During the summer I was feeling quite low for a fair while actually. I came back from New York with my self esteem feeling destroyed and then I experienced a break up shortly after. This making my anxiety hit an all time low. Some days were good, I felt like my life was finally getting on track and I was feeling myself. Then other days just weren’t so good and I hated everyone and everything but mostly myself. 

It was a whirlwind of an experience. I couldn’t help but feel like I had ruined everything, that it was all my fault and I was only to blame for my errors. Although some of that isn’t wrong I don’t feel like it’s all totally my fault. I think life got in the way, things happened and I didn’t fail. It was just how things were to plan out and I had been given a fresh start. 

However, now I feel different. Sometimes crappy and down but mostly good. Most of the time I feel like I’ve finally got my shit together. I’m back in uni, I’ve made new friends, I lost some weight and plan to carry on and finally, I don’t feel that I have to please everybody. 

I don’t regret the mistakes I’ve made, I’ve learned from them. Overall, my mental health is feeling fantastic and I am feeling better than I have done. I’m still human and I still have moments but honestly, I feel pretty great. I’ve also been reading different blogs recently, specifically with posts about mental health. Some of my favourites have been: 

  • nospaceformilk.com 
  • Littlethoughtsblog.com 
  • MaryGeorgeBlogs.com 
  • lauralikeschange.wordpress.com 

You should definitely check them out, I highly recommend them! 

Twitter: @_bbbethan 

Instagram: @_bbbbethan 

With love, Beth x 

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Being Alone Is Ok

Some people, like myself, become so used to being around a lot of people all the time. Especially within a relationship, it becomes the norm to have someone to rely on and talk too whenever you need them. It’s almost natural to have the support and attention from the same person. However, when you lose that person or people it can become so hard to adjust. 

The first week you may find that you’re totally lost with no way of understanding how you’re going to cope. Eventually by the 3rd week it becomes something you’re adjusting too but naturally, sometimes you think about it and it makes you nervous. Your hands sweat, it gives you anxiety and the constant worry of not knowing who is going to look out for you when times get tough. By week 5 you might start to enjoy it again, you’re going out more, meeting and talking to new people and you’re not feeling so anxious about doing things by yourself. By week 10, you’ve adjusted so well that you don’t need nobody and you love nothing more than falling asleep at night peacefully because your life is so simple now.

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not defined by another person.” – Oscar Wilde.

 You’re an independent person with a whole life ahead of you. Your past may be behind you but your achievements and accomplishments are something you should embrace. Yeah, that one person may have given you help through that time, but you came trough? Just because they helped you doesn’t mean that they achieved it. You did. For me, although I had a lot of help to overcome my anxiety and panic attacks, he didn’t actually achieve anything, I did. I came through and learned to control them. I got myself a degree but with a little help from my friends. I worked hard to make sure I maintained being independent. 

Although, like I said, when you spend so much time with one individual it can be hard to come through and be alone at the end. Just remember, being alone isn’t a bad thing. It’s valuable time to learn more about yourself and what you deserve, want and need in your life. Its time to learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby, change your hair colour or start a new adventure. Everything you now do is something that you want to do. 

Think about it, being alone is actually strong. It shows people that you aren’t afraid of living your own life and making your own decisions. You can be whoever you want to be right now, you decide who that is. 

Be whoever you want to be. 

Twitter: @_bbbethan

Instagram: @_bbbbethan 

With love, Beth x