This post is a little different for blogmas but I just wanted to share my advice on dating! I recently jumped back into the dating world (I say recently, a few weeks ago..) but I’ve really enjoyed it.
This year I had a break up and I honestly thought it was the end of the world, spoiler.. lol no it wasn’t. However, the thought of dating again terrified me for a few months. I was certain that all guys are the same and that they would all break my heart and I quickly learnt that they are. In fact, there are some really genuine guys out there.
What I’ve realised though is that I had no intention of rushing into dating again. So when I started thinking of whether I was actually ready, I waited it out another few weeks just to be really sure. The real reason for this though was to really make sure that I completely experienced being totally alone so I knew completely that I wasn’t just going back into dating because I’m lonely or needing to rely on someone else to feel stronger.
What helped me realise that I was ready to date in the first place was a rebound. It sounds ridiculous and slutty but it helps. I don’t mean just have sex with a random guy, I mean by all means go ahead but for me, I had sex with a friend and it really helped to improve my self esteem. It might sound so crazy that my self esteem got boosted from having sex but it really did. It made me feel good, his affection made me feel appreciated and beautiful again.
So, when did I decide that I was ready to jump back on the bandwagon and date again? At around 3 months post break up, I truly knew that I was completely ready. I first experienced the feelings at around 2 months post break up. I knew full well that I wasn’t completely over the break up and I was still feeling fragile so I didn’t want to go into the dating life still feeling vulnerable. I also especially didn’t want to date someone and not end up feeling the same as the guy may. It wouldn’t be nice for him nor I and it would just result in a series of bad dating. I had offers from guys and I had said no because of these reasons, although one of those guys did his fair share of grafting with me and asked me a second time, I did eventually say yes.
To be totally honest, I don’t think anybody is ever really ready to start dating after having a serious relationship. I think there is a point where you just have to throw yourself back at it because if you don’t, before you know it you’ll be single a year and a half later not knowing how to flirt and socialise with guys. Still thinking that you’ll be alone forever and considering which type of cat or dog to get.
As interesting as that sounds, do you really want to be that person? I know I don’t. I want to experience the thrill and fun of a new relationship, those butterflies you get when he calls you beautiful or when you see him for the first time after a few days. Those firsts, the first kiss, first holiday, first time you tell them you love them.
So honestly, if you’re in the same position, my biggest and best advice is to just go for it. Talk to that guy in the club, download tinder, tell them you like them. The worst thing that can happen is that you get let down, he says no, the relationship didn’t work. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince but I can assure you, you’ll find them. You won’t be alone forever and you are worthy of love.
With love, Beth x